People fall in love for many different reasons. They may see a quality that they want in a partner like kindness, humor, or compassion. They may love the way someone makes them feel about themselves. They may see someone they want to spend the rest of their life with. But you can’t force them to love you if they don’t.
There are many women and men who stay in relationships even though they are not appreciated and loved in the relationship. They are abused or mistreated or used, yet they refuse to let go of the relationship on the premise that they can make their partner fall in love with them.
One problem with this is losing your individuality while trying to conform to someone else’s desires. Your partner doesn’t love you but they claim to love women who stay home and take care of their needs. So you quit your job and spend all of your time trying to make your partner happy by staying home and catering to them. When they still don’t love you after that change you try to become another person you think they would love.
In the end you are not your unique and individual self anymore but instead a person who has no true identity. You become confused about who you are and what you really stand for in life after changing personalities so many times and you begin to have low self-esteem.
Another problem with trying to convince your partner to fall in love with you is it never works!
Just because you change your personality to make yourself into someone you think they will love doesn’t mean that you have completely become someone they love. Instead you are actually the same person you were before playing make-believe. You are being fake and essentially lying to yourself and your partner. They see that and it’s not a turn on for them.
They may view you as pathetic and stay with you out of guilt, or they may take advantage of your drive for them to love you because they know you will not leave them no matter what they do. This means that they can use you for assets you have that they want and ignore the rest of you. This will further confuse you because it will seem as though they are interested in you and you will wonder why they are not fully in love with you.
The best thing to do is to get out of the relationship if you are not loved. Do not waste your time trying to convince someone that you are for them or that is all you will be doing, wasting time.