One of the biggest reason marriages fail is because couples fail to learn the answers to the big questions before getting married and even after they get married.
If couples simply spent some time asking each other the questions that really matter and answer them honestly, they’d greatly improve their chances of staying together.
A lot of couples are scared to ask certain questions such as do you believe in the afterlife? Do you really want to have a child? If I decide to start a role playing club would you be okay with that?
Lots of times when couples do discuss these questions they’re not always honest. Telling your partner you want children before you get married just because you think they would be turned off if you said otherwise is trapping them into a false relationship.
If you are unsure tell them you are not sure yet. If you absolutely do not want kids then tell them that it’s not going to happen. Be truthful.
You will find that the happiest couples know pretty much everything about each other. They are the ones that don’t complain about each other behind the other person back because they really have nothing to complain about because they know what to expect.
She was aware that he didn’t like going out to sad movies and he knew she didn’t like going to his friends’ house. There’s no need to complain to their friends about those things because they know where their partner stands on it and accepted it coming into the relationship.
I think that’s why Dr. Phil is becoming so popular. He has that common phrase that you can fix what you don’t admit. You have to admit to your partner the things you do and don’t like and you have to be honest from the beginning.
If they can’t deal with the truth then the relationship is doomed anywase. Who wants to be in a make believe relationship? Where one partner insists that the other person is a certain way even though they’ve been told time and again the truth.
I find that sometimes people are not even honest with themselves and that comes from not wanting other people to see you in a certain way.
We do not have to always be what other people expect us to be. We are defined by the roles we create for ourselves.
There is someone who fits into whatever role you are creating for yourself and that person will help you achieve it and not bring you down.
So start asking each other those questions that you might not otherwise ask. Start learning about each other’s real desires and beliefs and listen with a non judgmental attitude.
But the bottom line is you have to be honest with asking and answering these questions.