We’ve all done it. It’s the attraction and desire that makes us do it but we need to stop it if we want to have a real and lasting relationship.
Yes, I’m talking about obsessive smothering. I’m talking about the kind of craziness where you forget your old life and put one hundred percent of your attention on his. This is where you quickly start to turn into him and leave your unique identity behind.
Does this sound familiar? You find a guy you really like and quickly give up most if not all of your daily routine and instead adjust it to fit his. Your friends and family take a back burner to your new love interest and you not only think about him all the time you also start to dream about him.
You picture your life together and relish in the great feelings you get when you see him or are with him. You do everything you can to please him and make him want you so that you can keep him and this awesome relationship in your life and then… he dumps you. You go crazy trying to figure out why and when you finally get over him, with no answer as to why, you do it all over again with another guy.
This is the problem. Obsessive smothering. Blanketing his life with your own and trying to make his life yours.
The reason he liked you in the beginning was because you were your own person. He liked the way you talked or moved or the way you showed interest in things he knew nothing about. He did not like you because you were exactly like him.
This is what you need to keep the interest going; a somewhat separate life from him that compliments his life and doesn’t smother it. An interesting uniqueness about you that he wants to learn more about and have in his life.
When you start to agree with everything he does and says and leave your old life behind you begin to make him forget what unique things he saw in you in the first place. Now all he sees is a smiling mindless drone who wants to please him.