Take Break-Up Advice From Someone Who’s Been There!
There is a definite difference between teenage break-ups and adult break-ups. Teenagers have more emotion and less rationalization into their break-ups and that’s why it hurts a thousand times more!
I personally remember thinking that I was never going to find someone EVER again. But I did. But that doesn’t make the pain any less real when you are experiencing it, right?
So, if you’ve recently broken up with your girlfriend or boyfriend, then believe me – I know your pain. You are heartbroken and devastated and probably want things to go back to the way they were before this all happened. But it can’t. The break-up happened for a reason.
Here are some things to remember. The following tips aren’t stupid AND they apply to you. All adults who have been through break-ups understand the following tips – and if you want to get over your heartache then you will want to listen to these tips and adopt them into your belief system as well.
1. Time will heal you. You just have to get out there and stop thinking about the break-up. You have to FORCE yourself to do other things. Workout, hangout with friends, go to the movies, go shopping – just do something other than sitting around and thinking about the break-up. Doing this will speed up your recovery and allow you to feel somewhat normal again!
2. Trying to get back with your ex before you change the dynamics of your past relationship is pointless. The relationship will not work out if you head back into it with the same issues that caused the break-up!
Let’s say you broke up because of a trust issue. If you don’t fix that trust issue then it will still be there whether you get back together with your ex or not. You have to fix that trust issue in order to have a relationship with trust.
Jumping back into a relationship too soon, before you’ve fixed the issues, will result in a break-up again – or worse, an unhappy relationship.
3. Don’t play the what if game. You don’t want to ask yourself over and over again ‘what if I would have done this differently?’ because you are who you are. You wouldn’t have done anything differently because you did what you knew in the relationship. You can only be, cat, and do as you know.
This is where personal growth comes in. Once you understand the issues that you have had in the past then you can fix them. So if you are saying ‘What if I wasn’t so needy in the relationship’ then start saying ‘how can I fix my neediness.’
Other things to think about:
- Don’t call constantly as this will just come off as pushy or needy.
- Take care of yourself. If your ex see’s you down in the dumps and letting yourself go then they will feel as though they have power over you – and possibly view you as pathetic.
- Don’t jump at their command. You don’t need to do that because you are not in a relationship anymore. If you do it will show you are weak and easily manipulated.
- Don’t try to make them jealous. It normally doesn’t work, and if you end up winning your ex back this way it’s only because you made them jealous – it’s not because you won them back being you. That’s not fun!
- HAVE FUN – Go out and let loose! It’s okay to have fun, even when you are hurting! Having fun is probably the best way to get back at your ex because they will see that you CAN be happy without them!
- Flirt! You have the opportunity to be a flirty teenager again! Take it! Practice getting back into the dating scene by flirting with people you are interested in.