Failed relationships can be devastating. Most people spend months and sometimes years wondering what exactly went wrong and if there is anything they could have done to save the relationship. While not all relationships can be saved, there are some definite relationship killers that all happy couples should avoid like the plague.
Dishonesty destroys trust within relationships regardless of whether the liar gets caught or not. Like the old adage goes, no one is more suspicious than a liar. Studies show that 80% of all married people within the United States lie about money. It’s no wonder that 50% of these marriages end in divorce. If you want to save your relationship, learn since the beginning of the relationship how to tell the truth.
Controlling Behavior or Jealousy
The fear of losing a partner is the leading cause of jealousy and controlling behavior in relationships. Jealousy manifests itself as anger, blame and judgment and with time, the partner who is being controlled becomes resentful of the controlling partner. This inevitably causes the relationship to come to an end. If you are afraid of losing your partner or having your partner taken away from you, you need to find out where that fear is coming from and deal with it before it destroys your relationship.
Nothing ends relationships faster than substance and process addictions. Addictions can be quite diverse including drugs, alcohol, food, shopping, porn, sex and work. People use addictions as a way to deal with the pain in their lives or to fill a void within their lives. The only way to keep addictions from destroying your relationship is to actually deal with the pain and emptiness instead of trying to cover it up.
If you believe that your partner is your world, then sooner or later you are going to display needy behavior. Just like the people who suffer from substance addictions, clingy people believe that their partners will fill the void and emptiness within their lives. Needy people expect their partners to make them happy and when that doesn’t happen, they become resentful towards them. In order to avoid being needy and clingy, one must take responsibility for his or her own happiness and quit constantly demanding attention from his or her partner.
Relationships can only last long if the needs of the two individuals within the relationship are being met. This means that if one of the individuals is selfish and is entirely focused on themselves, the relationship will come to an end, sooner or later. Granted, pushing our wants aside for someone else’s sake isn’t always fun but it is a price we have to pay if we want to be in a relationship.
Many of the above mentioned relationship killers are brought about by fear. Such fear and concern most of the time arises from our past relationships. If you want a long lasting relationship, you need to take responsibility for your feelings and needs. If you need to see a therapist or counselor so as to deal with some of the issues from your past, don’t hesitate to do it.
About the Author:
Ashley Nelson enjoys giving relationship advice to couples so that their relationships can last long and their dreams of a beautiful garden wedding complete with garden wedding favors can come true.