Being new to marriage, and raised in a religious setting may have you questioning what the hell is going on with all the divorces out there.
Are you not supposed to work on marriages until the bitter end? Are you not supposed to put up with some of the crap because that is what marriages are about? Once you say “I do!” are you not supposed to stay together forever?
I have a friend who entered a marriage with a deeply religious man. (He later turned out to be a pornography freak but that’s another story!).
In any case, she quickly became unhappy in the marriage. He treated her just like his father treated his mother – like a woman who should stay home, take care of the kids, and do his bidding for him.
She became a bleak reminder of the old friend I used to know. Not only was she miserable in the marriage but she was also miserable in her life. BUT because both of their families were so religious and didn’t believe in divorce she felt she had to work at it and accept it.
They bought religious material that was supposed to help them grow closer and be stronger in their relationship. It didn’t work.
They read through their bible together to find the answers they were looking for. It didn’t work.
In the end nothing was going to change who he was, and their relationship dynamic was doomed to stay the same forever.
One day, she did something that many women in those situations don’t do. She took her three kids and left him.
Now she is an extremely happy woman who lives her life full of joy in a satisfying and loving relationship.
The point is – sometimes people change in their marriage. Sometimes they surprise their partner and turn out to be someone they never admitted to being. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try to work things out together, you can’t. Sometimes divorce is the only way to true happiness.
I feel sad for the people who stay in the relationships because divorce is not an option. Years of not knowing what a truly happy relationship can be, and then you die.
I feel as though people really need to get to know each other before marriage if their is a ‘no divorce’ rule in place. Know that person inside and out. Don’t rush to head down the Isle because there is time.
Take some time to get to know your partner before you spend all of your time miserable because you didn’t.