First you should know that you are not alone. Many women have never given oral sex to their man, which means many men are trying to figure out how to get their woman to do it! If you go about oral sex discussions in the wrong way though she may start to really associate oral sex with a negative thing.
For instance if you are pressuring her to do it and making her feel guilty for not doing it, then she is associating oral sex with pressure and guilt. Chances are she is not going to want to give you oral sex when she associates it with something so negative.
Remember that the reason she is not giving you oral sex has nothing to do with not wanting to please you. It has more to do with her fear of what it will be like. The taste, cleanliness, smell, messiness, gagging, or fear of ejaculation is what is holding her back from doing this act of pleasure for you. So you need to remove the fear from her thought of it all and replace it with something more appealing.
Bottom line: Do not make her feel uncomfortable and stop trying to negatively convince her to get down and dirty with oral sex. Instead use the following 5 steps to help guide her to oral sex and have her stay there.
1. Make a Game Out of It
You know how sex games have kiss this and kiss that? Well find a sex game that has a card for kissing your penis in it. This will make it more of a part of a game then something you are trying to force her to do. Most likely she will hum and haw about it, but most people tend to follow rules that are clearly laid out for them. Do not pressure her but instead promise her that all she has to do is give it a quick kiss. Chances are she will give it a try, and that quick kiss will move her past her fear of getting near it with her mouth.
2. Ask Her to Do it Outside of the Game.
During foreplay, and only during foreplay, ask her if she could give it a little kiss like she did in the sex game. Do not try to force her or sound like you are pressuring her, but just let her know that it will really turn you on if she does it. Chances are since she has been there before with no negative emotions from it then she may try it again.
3. Let Her Know How Good It Feels When She Does It.
Praise her for what she did. It will allow her to feel as though she is really pleasing you and making you happy without having to really cross the uncomfortable zone. She does want to make you happy after all, and if she sees that just that small act of kissing it gives you so much pleasure then she will wonder what kind of pleasure she can give you by doing more. She will most likely try to push the envelope a little next time, and she may even do it on her own.
4. Be Patient
Be patient with her and you will win her trust. Every time she does something down there don’t push her to do more. Your enjoyment is enough to keep her moving forward towards oral sex. Any pressure you put on her will bring back the association of a negative feeling instead of a positive one you created from the game. Remember, it could take weeks or months to get really comfortable with it. You just have to be patient and allow her to go at her own pace.
5. Have Some Control
When she finally does do it for you do not ejaculate in her mouth. Let her know when to pull away so she can make up her own mind whether or not she wants to get a mouthful or not. If you ejaculate in her mouth without warning she may never trust you to do it again, and that is going to be hard to come back from.
During foreplay, and only during foreplay, ask her if she could give it a little kiss like she did in the sex game. Do not try to force her or sound like you are pressuring her, but just let her know that it will really turn you on if she does it. Chances are since she has been there before with no negative emotions from it then she may try it again.
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