Long ago are the days where Jerry had sit down guests, bizarre guests at that, but still they sat down for a while before they fought. You know the confrontations between racist people and the people who they were racist towards. Or remember the father who hated his daughters new boyfriend and the baby that they had produced. No those days are long gone. He’s found a new theme that draws many people, both audience and guests alike.
The criteria to be on the show is a very short list. They can be cheaters, backstabbers, or liars. Most of the shows involve some sort of love triangle with friends or family that seems so ridiculous you have to wonder if they are acting.
In fact, I used to think that they were all either getting paid to be on the show or pretending to be in these situations just for the fun of it. But not anymore.
After reading the constant questions in relationship and family forums about cheating, backstabbing, and lying – I realized that there are tons of people out there that could be Springer guests in a second. I’m not just talking about young naïve people here. There are many sincere questions full of passion that blow my mind just to read.
So how do you get on Jerry Springer?
The first way, and usually the best idea, is to cheat on your significant other. It doesn’t matter whether it’s with their best friend, the waitress in your favorite restaurant, or one of their parents. All you have to do is get with this pre-determined person and then when it’s all done make sure you don’t fully understand the consequences of it. It’s really no big deal.
Tell yourself that you were justified to cheat on your lover and then decide you must tell them in public what you have done. Write out a ridiculous fake script about how it was a mistake and that the only reason you did it was because they don`t pay any attention to you anymore or because they have gained too much weight. This will be sure to make them feel bad and they will have to take your sorry ass back in front of millions of people.
While you are on the show you can smile knowing that you are in the right and will soon be back at home having slept with someone else and still get to sleep with your partner. Plus you get the added bonus of watching them fight it out for you even though it was all your fault in the first place.
The second way to get on the show is to stab your best friend or closest family member in the back. This usually involves sleeping with their significant other as well. But this time all the blame will fall on you instead of their lover.
Oh wait – that`s how the other scenario goes as well. But still, you will get the credit and that`s what is really important here.
You know you don’t care how they feel because they have spent years having a better life than you. They get more attention than you because they are prettier. They get all the good lovers that YOU should be getting. They have a better job, more friends, and they live in an actual house instead of the trailer that you inherited from your ex.
Remember that bringing them on the show will make them look like a fool in front of everyone because you won the contest by sleeping with their partner.
The third way to get up on stage is to tell a lie and stick with it right up until the show. There are many lies that you can tell and any lie that causes a reaction is going to make for a good show.
For instance, if you are a transsexual and haven’t told your new love interest yet than call up the show and announce it to the world! What better way to do that kind of thing? Really there’s no reason to them anywhere else because it’s not really any of their concern. Your still the same person they met and started to like!
If you’re actually married to someone else and have five kids with them then you are a shoe in for the show. Don’t worry because the person you’ve been lying to will mostly take it out on your spouse even though they had no idea either.
How about if you are gay and decide that you should probably not go on with the lie anymore? Well pack up your stuff and head to the Springer show. Don’t worry, you will not be humiliating your lover, you will be doing them a favor by making it perfectly clear about who you are and who you want to be. You’ll just be doing it in front of, again, millions of people. This can be a bonus because you will have many other people who may now be interested in you that were not before now knowing that you are really gay.
Remember that when you are on the show, if you are the one coming clean you will probably not get blamed as badly as the other person in your little secret. Yes, you may lose a lover but you’ll gain the respect of millions of people for coming clean on national television.
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