How you end a relationship matters.
In fact it matters so much that it can affect your next relationship in a positive or negative way. So when ending a relationship you need to take that into consideration!
There are two common feelings that can occur from a bad end to a relationship. They are feeling resentful and feeling guilty.
Being resentful can cause you to do a number of stupid things like seeking revenge, talking bad about exes, or even holding in the hatred and resentment that you are feeling.
When you hold those negative feelings in you can harm yourself physically by adding negative energy and stress to your body. You can literally make yourself sick.
You can also hurt yourself mentally by being bitter and angry. You may spend your days thinking negative thoughts about your ex and the opposite sex rather than focusing on positive things that you do want from the opposite sex. This is very unproductive to finding a new, positive relationship and it can affect the rest of your life as well by making you more negative in other areas like work, family relationships, and even with friends.
Feeling guilty can also has a negative impact on your physical health. Guilt is a strong emotion that takes a lot of energy to focus on. Guilty feelings pop up just before bed or at random moments when you should be focusing on the moment at hand.
Guilt gives us that miserable feeling in the pit of our stomach, and that feeling is an indication that something is not right with our bodies.
Guilt can also have a negative effect on our mental well-being. It can hold us back from pursuing other relationships in our life because it can make our self-talk turn ugly and accusing. We may feel as though we are not worthy of good things in our life because of the self-talk that comes from guilt.
I’m also sure that you have heard that we tend to repeat our mistakes until we have learned, and that saying is absolutely true. If we didn’t learn from our past relationship then chances are we will repeat it again.
We may become attracted to the exact same type of person. This is where we end up saying “Why do I always end up with losers!”, and we really have no idea why.
We may also become attracted to someone who makes us feel guilty or resentful just so we can try to work on those feelings that we have.
- A person who harbours resentment may look for someone who makes them feel bad about themselves just like a past relationship did.
- A person who harbours guilt may look for someone who doesn’t stand up for themselves and is easy to abuse in some way.
Both of these scenario’s almost never work out in a positive way and we end up leaving the relationship with even more resentment or guilt.
We need to end the circle and deal with that guilt or resentment at the end of the relationship. Then we can move on to learn from our mistakes and find better relationships for ourselves by knowing what we don’t want.
So when you end a relationship make sure you deal with any loose feelings, questions, or answers that need to be discussed. Don’t let yourself or your partner leave the relationship feeling anything but a sense of ending a relationship that didn’t work.
This takes some maturity and some consideration from each person. It can be easier to pack up and move out, or stop calling someone all of a sudden, but the consideration of communicating the issues at the end is well worth the payoff for your own physical and mental health in the long run, as well as the health of your future relationships.