A loser Will Only Cause You Pain. Avoid Losers and Avoid The Pain That Comes With Them
I wish I knew this information when I was younger. I dated so many losers that it was almost ridiculous! I dated drug addicts, users, jerks, egotistic guys, reality-twisted guys, and guys who did everything short of physical abuse. Thankfully, I never got into a relationship like that.
I kept accepting these guys into my life over and over again until I finally learned my lesson…and learned my lesson I did.
That lesson (or lessons) is what I’m going to share with you!
Clues That He is a Loser
You may not be too sure at first sight, but as you get to know the guy there will be obvious clues about what kind of guy he is and whether or not he is right for you.
Clue # 1 – He Has an Obvious or Not Obvious Drug or Alcohol Problem
At first it’s just something that he does. He drinks too much, he smokes a little weed, or he does some sort of harder drug recreationally.
When you are younger and in party mode you kind of expect this thing to be around. It’s not such a big issue.
You may be willing to look past some sort of drug or alcohol problem, and I get that, but believe me – over time it becomes more and more of a problem.
It may be something you think he will get over at first and that’s why you overlook it, but in time you will find that he will put his habit first and you second. He may steal money from you to get his drugs or alcohol. He may become a different person the more drugs and alcohol he does – a person you don’t like very much.
Drug and alcohol problems rarely go away. They normally get worse, way worse, before they get better. It’s best to just avoid this guy completely until he’s over his issues completely.
Clue # 2 – He Doesn’t Have any Plans or Goals
A guy who doesn’t have any visions for the future is not worried about succeeding in life or achieving his dreams. He’s living in the moment and not really sure where he is going in life. In fact, he may not even be thinking about it.
This kind of guy is going to cause havoc to you and your life. If he hasn’t made any solid plans about his life and what he wants do you think he’s honestly going to start with you and your relationship? Nope. Your relationship will be something else that he’s just doing and he won’t be looking long-term with it, and if he does he may get scared off.
This guy is going to cause you pain when it comes the commitment in your relationship, and often times this guy will break up with you without saying why, or cheat on you even though you are really good to him.
So watch for guys who are living on a whim and say ‘I don’t know…’ a lot. These guys are not worth the effort you will put into the relationship.
Clue # 3 – His History
He’s taken advantage of women. He’s used women. He leaves women at the drop of a hat. He’s been to jail. He’s been in a fight recently. He was living out of his sisters RV (personal example).
If he has a long history of being a loser than chances are he still is. He may try to do better for a while when he’s with you, but chances are he’s going to revert back to his old ways very quickly.
I’m not saying that people don’t change, they do, but his history should reflect some of that change. Like maybe he’s volunteering his time somewhere or he’s been working on building a career, or he’s been taking classes on anger management. The point is he should be reflecting a different attitude inside and out of he’s changed.
It’s hard to spot the guys who haven’t changed sometimes because they are going to be on their best behavior in order to impress you, but if you take their history into consideration then you have a pretty good idea of what to expect.
If you are unsure then make sure you take it slow. Don’t rush into a relationship because time will tell you whether or not he has changed or kept his loser ways!
Other signs that may indicate a loser:
- He lives at home and depends on his parents.
- His friends tell you that he is a loser
- He doesn’t listen to you when you are talking to him
- He puts you down in any way, shape, or form.
- He talks bad about you in front of your friends, his friends, or strangers.(Or behind your back)
- He won’t show show others how he really feels about you.
And probably the best indicator that he’s a loser is your gut. Your gut will tell you that something is just not that right with this guy. If you feel that way then run! Your gut normally won’t lead you astray!