A friendship is a relationship just as a boyfriend/girlfriend and spouse are also types of relationship. As long as friendship comes first, the romantic relationship will be able to stand up to many more obstacles than a relationship that is only based on attraction. When you are friends, you want to do everything with each other, have family dinners and just enjoy one another. As you live together you need to have this friendship because if you can’t be friends with the one that you are with, you won’t find any happiness in your home life.
Be Friends First
To be friends first, you don’t really need to put off your romantic relationship, everybody knows that sometimes romances just happen, even when you don’t expect it. The thing to keep in mind is to see what the other persons interests are and if you can enjoy the same things. Doing things with the other person does not mean that you both have the same interests right off the bat, but you should at least give their interests a try. As you both begin to enjoy one another, you will see if you can or cannot build a life together.
Do Something You Both Enjoy
If you both enjoy outdoor activities, but your partner likes to hike and you like to ski, then you should give hiking a chance and then you should take them skiing as well. The foundations are there but neither of you have ever given the other activity a chance. If you give it that chance, then you two are finding things that you have in common which will create a friendship as you two bond and find things that you have in common. Trying new things are a part of life, as long as you continue to try new things, you will grow as an individual and as a couple.
Compromise is another part of the friendship element of a successful relationship. You cannot go into a relationship telling the other person that you will never try what they enjoy and things that you enjoy will not include them since they never had before. You both need to realize that building a relationship and friendship is much more than just fitting the other person into your life as you can, it is actually making them a part of your everyday life and they are making you into their everyday life as well. While there are some things like a guys poker night that should still remain “guys only” or a girls night where just the girls go out, other things like hobbies should be shared, and gladly shared at that. Once you two decide to build your lives with the other one without giving up the things you love and gaining more things that you enjoy, you will have a relationship that will stand many tests. My sister, who is married to a police officer, swears by these tips. When you can be friends and lovers, you have that perfect relationship where you enjoy each other then you will be able to a friendship that will withstand anything, giving your relationship the foundation that you need to go the distance with the one you love.
Jan D. is a writer that loves her husband and kids.
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