Most jail sentences are actually shorter.

So, how to get it right? After all, if there’s a formula for book writing, motor racing, cauliflower shape and babies, there must be one for marriage.

1. You’ve brought your experience with you.
Everyone gains something from experience, even if it’s ‘how to avoid’ information. Anyone who’s managed a relationship into the so-called long term – even if that long term was only five or six years – should be able to isolate a few of the good things and reproduce them in a positive way.

Obviously, don’t actually bring those relationships up. They should stay firmly in the past. What you need is the lessons learned. The bit where you know that when he’s glued to the footy, that’s because he loves the footy, not because he doesn’t love you.

2. You share everything with each other.
If you can’t share everything, there’s a reason for that. Maybe it’s a lack of trust; perhaps there’s some sense of judgement. Hiding things is bad. It makes it harder to open up about everything if you sense the other disapproves, and it’s important in marriage that you feel like it’s the two of you against the world.

3. You share goals.
It’s not enough that she knows everything about you. If she wants you to settle down with a white picket fence and 2.4 children, and all you want is to go clubbing with the lads at weekends, have reasonable sex at least three times a week (you’ve got to be realistic) and earn enough money for Ibiza every year, then you’re not shooting from the same barrel.

4. You understand one another.
There is no changing anyone. It’s the law. There’s no point in thinking that you can and ideally, if you’re with the right person, you’re prepared to overlook the annoying things because of all the wonderful characteristics.

5. You know the difference between marriage and wedding.
Don’t forget, you’re likely to have at least 32 years of this person. If all you’re aiming for is the fabulous party with the white dress, the flowers, the bridesmaids and everyone looking at you, you’re probably not ready for the reality which is marriage.

Julie Rennie hosts wedding receptions in Edinburgh, Scotland. She hopes this article will make it easier for people to decide if they are ready to get married.

Image Credit: 1.

You may find that you are a little rusty with the pick-up lines and the bar scenes. Luckily, these are not the only places that you can find love again. You can find interesting people at social events like church functions, community centers, family gatherings and even random mall visits. Before the discussion of the places that you can find people with similar interests as yourself and hopefully develop friendships that may lead lasting relationships, you must be careful of the entire endeavor.

There are people out there who like vultures, can smell your vulnerability and try to take advantage of you especially if you have some money or assets to your name. Be careful with these sorts.  Here is how you can tell if they are up to no good.

• The desire to get attached too quickly

If you find that your new love interest is taking things too fast, be careful. It could just be that they know what they want and do not want to waste time, but chances are that they are trying to take advantage of you. If they want to move in with you after only a few weeks of dating or want to share cell phone numbers, plans might be to have access to your credit cards or bank accounts hence you will want to watch out.

Some of these individuals work in pairs and usually have an accomplice somewhere in the shadows that they are in communication with. Since they are all too happy to use your computer or cell phone, install keylogging software to monitor their actions. Chances are you may find some information that could save you thousands of dollars and even your life.

• Isolation

If your new love interest does not want you to interact with your friends and seems resentful of their presence, be careful. It could be that they really want to spend every waking moment with you, or they are trying to isolate you so that they can take advantage without the interference of those that love you.

• Manipulation

If you find that the only way your relationship is going to work without disagreements is by giving in to the demands of the other party, you are being manipulated. Manipulation can be psychological or physical. Your partner could withdraw affection or ever resort to violence to get you to do what they want. If you find yourself in this situation, run in the opposite direction.

Featured images: 1, 2, 3

Today’s post is written by Pete Newman who invented the web watcher software. This software has revolutionized the concept of software and online security. He also likes blogging on various topics and also has quite a few visitors.  Though the concept of dating is not new to anyone but after a divorce it becomes a whole new proposition and so he sheds light on some finer points related to the issue.

We are so busy with our working lives and the children that often we forget to stop and just tell our loved ones how we really feel, date night disappears and is soon forgotten and days just seem to roll from one to the other. Maybe this year you should make an extra special effort to make your loved one feel special in every way.

The Planning Stages

Everyone enjoys surprises and what better way than to make Valentine’s Day a spectacular day filled with gifts, special moments and caring thoughts? You don’t have to spend a fortune, maybe buy a couple of cheap valentine gifts that you can give throughout the day to make the day that little bit special.

The first thing to remember about this day is that everyone wants to go out for a meal, so if you have a favourite restaurant book it as soon as possible to secure your table.

Arrange your babysitter in advance so that you know you can go out and have an enjoyable time and then buy your cheap valentine gifts online, maybe have them delivered to work so your other half doesn’t find out about them.

On the Day

Start the day by getting up early and getting the children ready for school, maybe making your loved one a coffee or even breakfast in bed before you have to get ready to go to work.

Pop a love poem in their handbag or briefcase as a surprise and to put a smile on their face when at work. If you intend sending flowers, this should have been organized in advance, but rather arrange a courier to deliver one of the cheap valentine gifts you purchased and have them surprised at work.

After Work

Once you’re heading home after work phone your loved one and tell them to get ready to go out, maybe pick the babysitter up on your way home. Get home, a quick shower and maybe one more gift before you head to your favourite restaurant.

It doesn’t take a lot to show your loved one how you feel, they were probably only expecting one gift, so being able to shower them with plenty of gifts on valentine’s day only makes the day that extra special.

Of course they don’t have to know you bought cheap valentine’s gifts and paid the same as you would for a dozen roses, but the fun thing is that you can give them a selection of gifts on the day, adding to the excitement of Valentine’s Day.

There is one thing I have forgotten to mention and that is you must not forget a card. While a secret poem popped in their lunch box is romantic, everyone loves a great valentine’s card that they can put on display.

Maybe keep some of your cheap valentine’s gifts back to give them later on in the evening or hand them out throughout the year to show you really care. It’s so easy once you have a family to struggle to find time to spend together and looking after the children is so time consuming that those three simple words that mean so much are just never spoken.

My last suggestion on Valentine’s Day is after dinner take a quiet walk together or enjoy a movie, don’t rush back home. You’ve got the babysitter and it’s time to just enjoy each other’s company for a change, chances are you’ll talk about the kids and home life, but at least it’s just the two of you. If it’s late head home and let the babysitter go home, curl up on the couch with a romantic movie and a bottle of wine and just relax.

There are so many ways to make this romantic day that little bit more romantic and you can do it without breaking the bank, you just need to plan ahead and get all the arrangements in place to make this day extra special.

Sam Mulder is a romantic at heart that believes Valentine’s Day is an opportunity for loved ones to spend time together and cheap valentine gifts is just one way to make the day a special one.

Image Credit: 1.

This infographic has been provided by Drop Down Deals.  Cut down the price of dating using Drop Down Deals coupons such as Pizza Hut coupons as well as many others.

Evolution

This area takes a close look and describes how men’s underwear has progressed and developed since the loincloth.

World Records

The inforgraphic reveals some shocking figures whilst describing the record-breaking size of the world’s largest pair of pants. It also shares the most amounts of pants worn at once, the most worn in one hour and the most in five minutes.

Health & Hygiene

This section hold some information that we might not all need or want to actually know. It reveals how many pairs of pants men really pack for when they’re off on their travels. Also shown is a reference to the ‘sniff test’ – enough said!

Also referred to in this inforgraphic is some weird underpants related crimes and punishments.

Urban Alpha are a leading supplier of mens underwear, stocking many different brands, colours and styles.

This infographic “Chutes and Ladders of Love” is provided by mobistealth

As a side note – I watch my dogs compete on a daily basis. They compete for attention, or a ball, or to be the first one out the back door. I’ve always known this to be a pecking order for dogs. As in whichever dog is the strongest is the alpha or the ‘top dog’ in the pack. This more of instinctual thing for dogs and the point is that the loser doesn’t have hurt feelings. He instead tries again or improves his paw shaking skills, or runs faster for the ball – either way, competition is obviously a natural trait in life. It’s just that humans can add greed, anger, jealousy, and  a mean side to the competition.

You might have some questions after going out with your new honey a couple of times, like “What is the best way to introduce my new boyfriend/girlfriend to my friends” or “What terms of endearment should I use?” Well, fear not. This guide will help you out.

Flirting

 This is the initial stage of the dating process, so it’s important to make a good first impression. Be aware that some girls and guys are looking for what they call “una storia seria” (a serious relationship), while others do not want to get too involved, and are just looking for something temporary.  What about you? Play it safe and try to find out if your needs match your date’s before embarking on the relationship.

What is the best way to begin to get acquainted with an Italian? Well, for one, you could show off your Italian language skills! Here are some hints for a nice start:

Ciao! Mi chiamo … e sono … – Hello! My name is … and I am (American, Canadian, etc)

Come ti chiami? – What’s your name?

Scusa se sono sfacciato, ma sei davvero bellissimo/a – I may be shameless, but you are really beautiful.

Mi piaci! – I like you!

Posso offrirti qualcosa/un drink/un caffè? – Can I buy you something/a drink/ a coffee?

(Tu) studi o lavori? – are you a student or are you working somewhere?

Vuoi ballare? – Shall we dance?

Facciamo una passeggiata – Let’s go for a walk

Posso prenderti per mano? – Can I hold your hand?

Posso abbracciarti? – Can I hug you?

Vorrei baciarti  – I’d like to kiss you

Mi lasci senza fiato – You leave me breathless

Dating

Most Italian couples like to spend time together on a daily basis if possible. If you are dating an Italian already, you may have found that your communication styles differ somewhat, especially if you’re an American and don’t speak Italian fluently.

Some popular activities that Italian couples enjoy include going for a walk, going to the movies, chatting, sharing hobbies and even doing chores together.

Your partner will love to hear “Vuoi che ti accompagni?” (Do you want me to come with you?).

Remember that in Italy it is ok to kiss (“baciarsi”) and hug (“abbracciarsi”) in public. Of course, if you go too far, old ladies will scorn you (yes, it happens for real).

Italians will introduce you to their friends as “il mio ragazzo” or “la mia ragazza”. This is the equivalent of “my boyfriend/girlfriend”. Some folks, especially older people, may use the word “fidanzato/fidanzata”, which is a bit old-fashioned and literally means “fiancé/fiancée”.  There are many equivalent dialectal words in different regions of Italy, including:

Sicilian – zitu/zita

Venetian – moroso/morosa

Neapolitan – ‘nnammurato/’nnammurata

Do not fret though. Nobody expects you to get married to this person immediately!

When you are on good terms with your significant other, don’t be surprised if your partner calls you “Amore” (my love) or “Tesoro” (literally “treasure”). Any variation is up to the couple’s creativity and inside jokes, so you may hear some ridiculous and cheesy nicknames. Try not to laugh if you hear people addressing each other using “biscottino” (cookie), “piccolino/piccolina” (literally “small one”), “passerotto” (literally “little sparrow”) or “cucciolo” (literally “puppy”).

When in a relationship, Italians can be quite “geloso/gelosa” (jealous) if you hang out with friends a bit too much or if you are caught ogling people walking by. If you’re too friendly with the opposite sex, you’ll hear about it. You may also experience problems if your sweetheart doesn’t like your best friend, so cross your fingers! They may also act suspicious, “perché non si sa mai” (literally, “because you never know”), especially with friends of the opposite sex.

Depending on how lucky you are, your ragazzo/a will show his/her jealousy more or less often with a “scenata di gelosia” (a jealous fit). Remember that even if it doesn’t show, it doesn’t mean he/she’s not jealous! For example, Italian men will probably detest any other man in your life, except your dad and your brother. He may not want you to hang around with other guys at all. Is he being difficult? No, relax. He’s just jealous.

If your girl gives a dirty look to every woman walking by, all the while squeezing your arm possessively, is she crazy? Does she want to start a catfight in the middle of the street? Don’t worry, she is simply marking her territory. You should just be thankful she’s not screaming “è mio!” (He’s mine!) out loud.

The Proposal

 What happens when you’re ready to take the next step in your relationship?

Basically, you have two options: a traditional “matrimonio” (marriage), or a “convivenza” (cohabitation as if married). If you choose the traditional approach, make sure to prepare something original to make that special moment with your sweetheart a memorable one. The question “Vuoi sposarmi?” (Will you marry me?) will inevitably be part of the equation, but try to make it perfect in every way, because everyone will want to know how it happened, and it will be an enduring romantic memory.

The Wedding

Throughout the world, wedding are a time of great celebration, and Italy is no exception. There are many traditions and customs that are observed, and they vary from family to family. For example, some say that the “testimone dello sposo” (the best man) and/or the “testimone della sposa” (the maid of honor) will pay for the “fedi” (the wedding rings), while the bride’s bouquet will be offered by the groom’s mother.

It is considered bad luck for the “sposo” (groom) to see his future wife’s white dress, so this definitely must be avoided at all costs.

The ceremony can be celebrated in a church with the catholic rite (that is, “sposarsi in chiesa”), or be a civil wedding (“sposarsi in Comune”). In both cases, after the ceremony, the newlyweds or “sposi novelli” will be showered with rice by their parents and friends. This is said to bring them good luck.

There will then be a “ricevimento” or wedding party, which will involve music, dances, fine food served on stylish plates, amazing wine in crystal glasses, and of course a magnificent “torta nuziale” (wedding cake). The party can last several hours, so consider it an endurance test! At the end of the party, the couple will give a “bomboniera” to each guest. A bomboniera usually consists of a small decorated sachet filled with “confetti” (sugar-coated almonds) and a small souvenir.

Just before going away with her husband on “Luna di Miele” (honeymoon), “la sposa” (the bride) will close her eyes and throw her bouquet toward a group of unmarried girlfriends, who are gathered at her back. Tradition dictates that she who catches it will be the next one to get married.

Breaking Up

 Unfortunately, “Lasciarsi” happens, and it is never pleasant. It is very rare to break up with no drama involved!

Sometimes, especially after a huge fight, both people make an effort to show that their life is even better than before. They make a point of letting their “ex” know that they feel just fine, that they are having a great time actually, and that they are “finalmente libero/a” (free at last).

If you’re angry, there are many ways to express your emotions- “non ti voglio più vedere” (I don’t want to see you anymore), “esci dalla mia vita” (I want you out of my life), “vattene!” (begone!), “non ne posso più” (I cannot take it anymore), “ti odio” (I hate you) and “non mi mancherai affatto” (I will not miss you at all).

Sometimes you are not breaking up because of a fight, but just because you have fallen out of love with your partner. This is a sad and difficult situation. In this case, you may want to say something like “mi dispiace” (I’m sorry), “non ti merito” (I don’t deserve you), “per favore, non chiamarmi più” (please, do not call me anymore), “non ti amo più” (I don’t love you anymore), “cerca di essere felice” (just try to be happy) or “troverai qualcuno migliore di me, che ti ami come meriti” (You will find someone who is better than me, who will love you as you deserve).

In either case, Italians may try to be strong and “man up”, even if they are screaming in pain inside. They could reply something on the lines of “ah sì? Anche io ti odio” (Oh yeah? I hate you too), or “finalmente è finita, non ti sopportavo più” (It is finally over, I couldn’t stand you anymore). Or, they may go for “ti prego, non lasciarmi” (I’m begging you, don’t leave me), “ti amo ancora” (I still love you) or “non puoi farmi questo!” (you can’t do this to me!).

Life Goes On

When you finally do find the love of your life and settle in permanently, you can look forward to many years of strong family ties, friends, laughter and joy. Italians consider “la famiglia” to be of a central part of the enjoyment of life, and spending time with the extended family is greatly cherished. If you’re lucky enough, and choose to expand your family with “bambinos” (babies), then the whole exciting and beautiful cycle of dating and love will begin again with the next generation.  

Tiziana Battiston is a freelance writer, proof-reader, translator and linguist based in Rome, Italy. Her interests include body art, literature, food, and traveling. She regularly writes for Pimsleur Approach, sellers of language learning courses including Learn Italian and Learn French.

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Organizing a beach wedding is not as difficult as many people generally think, but can be done easily if you just know how to take care of a few things. If you are able to organize yourself and follow the steps mentioned below, you are bound to enjoy your wedding in a better manner.

Getting Married in Thailand

To marry in Thailand you need to prove that you are unmarried. If you are a foreigner you will need a document authorising this from your embassy. You need to contact your own embassy in Thailand well in advance of your wedding day to get this approval letter. Marriages can be registered during normal office hours. You can contact them via their website mfa.go.th

Choosing a Location
The first question that you need to decide upon is the beach that you will choose. There are public beaches, and private beaches. The choice mainly depends upon you, but obviously, a private beach is a much better option because you can get the area on rent and make it in to a much more enjoyable wedding. On a public beach, most people do not really feel as comfortable as they should, and this makes it very difficult for the guests to be able to really enjoy the wedding. Also, on a public beach, there are other people around too, so it is generally not a closed, personal affair. However, public beaches will cost much lesser as compared to private beaches, so you have to be manage your budget as well.

Facilities

Secondly, catering and washroom facilities need to be checked out too. Generally if you choose a private beach, you can get washroom facilities on rent as well as proper catering, but it is important to make sure that your guests are as comfortable on the beach as possible, and because of that reason, you need to go out of your way to get these facilities on the beach.

Finally, it is very important to know that the dress code on the beach differs greatly from a closed hall. People will be coming in very relaxed and informal attire, which is the reason why the bride and groom can’t really choose to go in the standard wedding dressing. The bride will go for a simple sun dress, while the groom will be casually dressed too.

Photo available under creative commons license by John Spade

GogoFlorist is a florist based in Thailand. Many people come to Thailand for their weddings. Beach weddings in Phuket are very popular. Beach weddings in Thailand are cheaper than places like the Maldives and they are just as spectacular. GogoFlorist can arrange flowers for your wedding in Thailand.

Watching a good liar in action can be impressive

A good, well told lie is quite a strength in this day and age. Caught in a tight corner? You want your best lying buddy by your side. As you stare mouth agape with a rising panic and horror at the situation you find yourself in, your smiling lying friend walks through takes you by the hand tells a massive porky and you skip out of there without a worry in the world! As the shock subsides at how easy such a seemingly insurmountable problem is avoided through a tight lie you start to wonder what could be achieved if you were to master the wizardry of deception and dishonesty, of porky pie telling. You feel naive and vulnerable, stupid and behind the times, afraid and slow in comparison with these daring acrobats of human encounter. But why do people lie and live in denial of it?

We lie for all different reasons

Some friendships are built on the thrill of the lie. I have at least 2 sets of best-friends whose connection is often bolstered through a series of ballsy lies, they reinforce each other for the heightening risk associated with their lies, laughing and cajoling, high on the adrenalin of a big-stakes lie gone through undetected. I mull around the edges admiring their hide, loving their daring natures and seemingly lack of care for consequence. These girls are so good there rarely are consequences because if the first lie is detected there are a series of counter-lies and decoy back up lies to befuddle any would-be detective.

Lying can be thrilling

Where lying scares me it thrills others. For some I think it is a sneaky sense of getting even with the world, of self-entitled taking, a little need or resentment fuelling the act. For others I think it’s a way to be more interesting, funnily enough often these liars are already eccentric and interesting and the quirky lies they tell (and often divulge instantly) are much less interesting than they already innately are. For some, lying allows them to be on top, ever ready, powerful and in control: they get ahead with their deception and often are the defensive type, in various states of denial as it seems at odds with the powerful, world-beater perception they are desperate to convey.

Shameless liars to the end

My friends are mostly in the everyday category: just lying for convenience, to avoid having to do something or getting “in trouble”. Although I’m not yet a world-beater liar I have had some success in the field and I have chosen my friends well, I love my friend’s ability to just turn a situation on its head with a really strong ballsy lie told straight and firm and as though they are the pope’s moral guide. Some of my friend’s are so shameless and good at it they would give God a run for his money come judgement day. They are that good, seriously.

I have recently read an article titled ‘Why do people lie and live in denial’, written by Australian biologist Jeremy griffith. It has certainly got me thinking.

Image Credit: 1.