‘I’ll never do it again’ and ‘I promise I’ll change’ are the two phrases that are used in an attempt to try to win back someone when they are walking out the door. While these may work one time with one person they will likely not work again unless you really do make a visible attempt to change and you’re really not ever going to do it again.
When we say these things we say them out of desperation. We say them because we feel that our ego is being bruised by someone not wanting us. If it was your decision to leave or end the relationship than I’m betting that it would not be such a big deal but because it’s the other persons decision it becomes an issue and you feel like you have to try to win them back and make them realize how great you really are.
You do realize that if you end up getting the person to stay that your promise is likely what made them stay and they are expecting, and hoping, that you will follow through with it. In fact, they are putting their trust in you that you are going to treat them better and make them happy.
Are you really ready to follow through with your promises?
Do you really want to have this all happen again in weeks, months or even years? Because if you don’t follow through then it will be happening again, it’s just a matter of time. And in the end, you would not only be wasting their time but yours as well.
So when they are about to leave or thinking of leaving you have to make up your mind about how important they are to you and whether or not you really want to stay with that person and make it work or whether it’s time for you to move on and let them move on as well.
If you decide that you want to make it work than you need to put a plan into action so that you will make sure you will fix any problems. You need to find help that can guide you in a different direction and different thought process than you are in right now because otherwise you will stay in the same frame of mind which result in the same actions over and over again.
If you decide that you have no desire to make it work then you should let them go without a fight and without any last ditch promises that are empty and only said by your egos attempt to not get bruised.
Be fair to yourself and to your partner.
Bellaisa is an advocate for happy and stable relationships with yourself and with others and she is the owner of The Relationship Circle. For more tips, advice, and articles on how to find love or fix a relationship issue visit http://relationship-circle.com.