Women love it when their man knows how to really please them – without having to be directed. They WANT a good lover!
When it takes half of her energy trying to get you to understand what she needs and wants, and the other half trying to enjoy the sex then you are literally losing half of the “Oh my god this man is awesome!” pleasure that you could be giving her. You are missing out!
If you want to satisfy her in bed, have her thanking the heavens you are her man, and ensure that she doesn’t eventually give up on pleasureable sex (which may mean less sex for you) then you WANT to be come a good lover.
Good enough reasons? Here’s some ‘good lover’ tips to become better tonight.
Being a Good Lover Does NOT Mean:
Making Her Orgasm Every Time You Have Sex
The orgasm will not always come for her. That’s just the way it is. A good lover knows that if you press the issue of her having an orgasm and make her feel like she HAS to have an orgasm then chances are she won’t. Pressure to have an orgasm on a woman is a sure-fire way to make sure she doesn’t have an orgasm.
Spending Hours Working at Her Until She is Satisfied
If you drag out the physical process of foreplay and sex to hours of activity then you may lose her interest and desire to partake in the session. She may not tell you because you are working so hard at it and she doesn’t want to disappoint you, but just remember this: Longer does not always equal better.
A body can only take so much kissing and touching. Eventually the nerves stop responding to the touch and it can quickly become annoying.
This is why a good lover knows how to satisfy her in a short amount of time. He then can please her quickly if she wants, and if she’s up for it he can please her for hours. He can literally do it all.
Making it All About Her
Making it all about her once in a while is okay, but if you are constantly trying to please only her in bed then she will start to feel pressured to live up to your standard, and she will start to feel guilty about your pleasure.
A good lover knows that pleasure is about both people in a relationship. It’s all about balance.
Doing Only What She Likes in Bed
Again, a good lover knows that doing the same thing over and over can become boring, even if she likes it. Suggesting your own ideas and acting on them can give her a new twist to an old favourite, and maybe even a new favourite she never thought about before.
Ignoring Your Own Needs and Desires in Bed
A good lover is sensual and passionate in bed, and it’s hard to be like that if you are never pleased. Making sure that you get fully pleased in bed as well as her will keep you at the top of your passionate game and benefit her in the long run.
Being a Good lover DOES mean:
Understanding Her Likes and Dislikes in Bed
This is important! A good lover has to know what pleases a woman in bed in order to please her!
You can tell what she really likes in bed by the sounds she makes, the way she moves her body, her facial expressions, and if she’s screaming a big loud YES during a certain move.
If you don’t know what she likes then ask her. Many women will not offer up exactly what they like and tell you exactly what they don’t like because they don’t want to hurt you feelings. So you may have to bite the bullet and ask her to really tell you what she likes. The good news is that after you ask her once you will never have to ask her again, and she will benefit from your knowledge of what she likes forever.
Not Making it Always About You in Bed.
This can include only focusing on your orgasm during sex, but it can also include trying to get something every time you give something.
For instance if you are going to give her oral sex, but you always try to get oral sex from her before you do then you are making her feel like she has to give you something in order to get something. Sometimes a girl just wants to get something without having to return the favour!
Spending 5 Minutes on Her Orgasm and Then Giving up When it Doesn’t Happen
Men can orgasm quite quickly. Women can orgasm quickly sometimes, but sometimes it takes a little longer than 5 minutes of focus.
Women have to be in the right frame of mind to have an orgasm, and all the right spots have to be stimulated on her as well.
Sometimes it can take a while for those two things to line up together, even though she feels good leading up to that moment.
If you are giving her oral sex, then commit to it. Sometimes women can take up to ½ hour or longer to have an orgasm. Commitment is key to being a good lover.
Understanding Her Needs
Intimacy is different for a woman than a man. She needs more than just a quick roll in the hay to feel connected to you and if you don’t understand that then you are not a very good lover.
A woman needs to feel loved and cherished in order to really enjoy the sex that she’s having.
A lot of women say that their most fulfilling sexual moments are when they are connected to their man rather than exclusively basing pleasure on when they have an orgasm.
If you don’t remember anything else then remember THAT and you WILL be a better lover to her!!
Understanding Her Wants
This is just an extension of the above point. Needs are what she requires in order to really feel good about the sexual experience. Wants is what she wishes would happen.
She may want to be dominated during sex. She may want to be surprised during sex. She may want to have sex in a different place every time. Her wants are unique to her, unlike her needs which pretty much fit all women.
Find out what her wants are and combine those with her needs to be the ultimate lover to her!