Sometimes Love is Not Enough
You may have heard the expression that love is blind, and while it holds some good merit later in the relationship that is not always the case when we first meet someone.
When we first meet someone we normally size them up as we would with anything we are investing in for the long-term future. We see what they can offer us in terms of happiness, companionship, and even financial stability. We base our attraction on the finding of our research and decide whether they are worth pursuing more or whether we should avoid the person and move on. And they are doing the same thing. I know it sounds harsh or robotic but it’s the truth
Putting Our Best Face Forward
Most of us spend our first impression and first few dates trying to convince our potential love interest that they will be getting a good deal if they choose us. We are on our best behavior. We are wearing our most flattering clothes. We are trying to say all the right things and do all the right things to ensure this person see’s us as a good candidate for their life.
Now if love was really blind then we wouldn’t have to put on our best behavior in the start. We would instead let it all hang out for the other person to see. We would do all of our disgusting habits in front of them and we would act as we do when we are sitting at home on a Monday night. But we don’t do that until later in the relationship. This is when love really becomes blind.
Putting Our Best Face Away
Later in the relationship, after we have hooked our love interest firmly into our lives, we stat to let our true colors shine through. All of our annoying habits and traits that only our mother could love start to come out.
This is when our partner see’s through many of our ‘faults’ and instead views us for who we really are inside. They look past the things that normally turn off a new love interest and instead focus on the things that are important to them in the relationship like security, companionship, and being loved.
That’s called being in love and accepting your partner for who they are. That’s where most happy relationship end up.
When The Worst Comes Out
Of course there is an exception to this happily-ever-after rule. Sometimes the person loses their best behavior only to reveal a nasty and ugly behavior beneath it. This could take the form of abuse, cheating, or addiction. This is when many people struggle with their relationship and whether to stay in it or not.
In fact most people do not let their love blind them from the truth of what their partner is doing to them and their relationship. Instead they either start fighting with their partner and live in unhappiness, try to make the relationship work, or leave their partner because love is not enough in that situation.
But some people stay even when the relationship doesn’t change. They stay even though their partner’s ‘ugly face’ is REALLY ugly! They literally let their love for this person blind them from how unhealthy the relationship is and how unhappy they really are. This is when the love is blind rule becomes a problem!
Are you someone who is staying in the relationship solely on love? Love is not always enough. If you are being abused either mentally or physically of if you are unhappy then you owe it to yourself to be honest and take action towards having a better relationship OR finding a better relationship.
Don’t use the excuse of love to let your relationship take advantage of you and your life. That’s not fair to you.
Unhealthy relationships can be hard to leave when you are in love with the person. But remember that just because you are in love, it doesn’t mean you have to be blind!